Living, loving and hurting with PASSION!

I seem to keep having the same problem... I have a friend who I try to be "besties" with, putting all my time and effort into creating a relationship (often I am over zealous, this I know), but instead of closing any gaps, I end up getting hurt and having them back away, stop being my friend altogether or just end up rejected. So I of coarse go to my friends and ask for advise.... Why me? Am I a horrible person? Do I bring out the worst in people? Am I really all in the friendship for selfish reasons? Well one of them, after talking a lot, sent me a Pin, saying something along the lines of "stop asking why it keeps happening to you, but ask why you let it"! So that got me thinking...

First off I don't try to ask why it keeps happening as a selfish, omg I need attention kind of way. I ask because I honestly try to see everything in a critical way and I want to make myself a better human everyday. I want feedback. I want to know which of my bull headed, Leo characteristics might be getting in the way. I want to be the best me, and by serving my friends and family with whatever they need is what makes me happy. Yes some friends said I do have a strong personality, sometimes bring out the evil jealous demon in them when they are around me or even worse, make them feel like crap just for being me. That was saddening. I know I am a strong person, but never do I try to step on people's toes, let alone feelings. As to the other two, I don't know how to not make people feel bad when they are around me when I don't feel I am doing anything wrong. I surely hate when people feel inferior, jealous or intimidated by anything I do. I have had a lot of growing in the past 12 years... Having a child early, marring early, playing house and doing all the activities and hobbies I do have allowed me to see the world in a different light. I am humbled when people praise me for an accomplishment, but never am I fishing for one. Never do I want to make ANYONE feel inferior because of my decorating, cooking, planning or crafty abilities. I do these things because I love doing them. That simple. Being good at them is because I study to be the best I can and practice often. I've been doing these things for 12 years already! So this leaves me to the second point... On why this keeps happening.

I have discovered in the soul searching I have been doing lately something quite surprising. I have always thought I wasn't a very passionate person. Sure I like things, a lot of things, but I don't have a soul burning passion for things like some people I know. But I'm wrong. In reality I am VERY PASSIONATE. I actually am so passionate about everything I do, believe in and effort I put forward that I think that's normal, so there for the bottom line of the passion scale so to speak. I am so passionate that it spills over, is maxed out and wonderful! I was confusing passion with like, an adrenaline rush.... They are not the same. Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is ambition that is materialized into action to put as much heart, mind, body and soul into something as possible (Urban Dictionary). I am an all black or white kind of thinker.... So with my daily life and all the fun and adventure it brings, I live it to the fullest with 100% passion at all times. Therefor I though it was lacking, not exceeding.

So to those out there in the world who I have run of because of this, I am sorry. I will always love you, as I always have. That will never change. I would welcome you back in my life in a minute because everyone changes, everyone grows and everyone has a place in another's heart.

So in the past, I have usually just gotten mad, blown up or freaked out and stopped moving forward. Not so now. These events truly break my heart, that's for sure, but I am not mad. i will not apologize either, as I have nothing to be sorry for moving forward. If I did make a mistake in the past, I have already apologized for it and even asked for forgiveness. If these people are not ready to forgive or move forward, that's not my problem. Moving forward I will continue to be me. I love everyone, unconditionally and always will. If that or how I live offends anyone, feel free to back off, run away or cut me off... But I will no longer take it as I am doing something wrong. I live with intentions of love, purity, honesty and kindness, and if your perceptions of those characteristics get mixed up, talk to me about it. If you don't feel comfortable with that, well, that's your purgative. 

So from here on out, I will show my love to everyone, but only expect the same love, gratitude and respect from those who have proven to me that they are wanting to give it. I guess this is why they say friends don't last forever.... I really wish they did though. 

Until next time, Hanna

Living room makeover!

Out with the old, in with the new! Well, not everything is new, and some that was old stayed but you get the idea. 

Our living room was very comfy, warm and inviting as it was. But the warm tones of the soft butter yellow walls, brown, red and orange accessories and hints of green, blue and purples were starting to look worn out, too dull and over done. So instead I have elected to switch it up, go for some cooler tones.

After deciding on paint (I did have to return one color of pale blue which I thought we originally wanted), we got the perfect soft pale grey. We used Parker Paint, (in soft Satin Glow) color is Spray River. It did take two coats, since I didn't prime first to cover the warm yellow. We already have wood trim and some white furniture pieces so we left that as is. We also had to leave our fireplace the color it was before (red), but with the GIANT metal piece we have covering it, it really isn't as noticeable as one would think. 

So now it was time to accessorize! My favorite part! We love our neutral grey/brown sectional and large white media cabinet, so I needed to coordinate around those pieces. We also already had the lamps, black console table, bookshelf from another room and quite a bit of chotchkies (knick-knacks). I found the beautiful white reading chair on a For-Sale site I'm part of on Facebook (definitely look into one in your area if your not part of one already. You can sell and buy your goods, like a garage sale all year long!) for only $25. The white was refreshing, calming and just what I was looking for. So next came the fun of shopping! I knew my color palate (soft and dark grey, white, cream and mirror glass/silver along with accents of black and brown to really ground everything). I found the wonderful dark grey distressed basket drawers at Ross for less than $70, along with the burlap looking pillows with French writing. I also found the metal orb, vase filler and some glass candle holders there too for cheap. Then off to Target. There I got the cream and white throw pillows (LOVE Nate Berkus), all the mirror/mercury candle holders as well as the picture frames that I have filled with photos I have taken recently (which I printed at Costco for cheap in black and white). It took a few trips to get the exact layout correct for the frame wall, but my family and I love the way it is now. Lastly was my all time favorite store, one a friend owns and I help her out a bit. It's called Real Deals on Home Decor, in Monroe, Wa. It is a fantastic store full of reasonably priced accessories, furniture, artwork and more. I had previously bought the large metal piece over the fireplace, most of the silk flowers, lanterns and a few other things. So this trip I knew in my head exactly what I wanted. So I picked up the green orb to sit in the white urn (bought at Cost Plus World Market), all the decorative books & the awesome white ceramic artichoke!

From there it is simply arranging. Remember to work with pieces that are a varied height when putting vignettes together and I also usually work in odd numbers. Like candle holders, urns, chotchkies, and what not. I usually do 3-5 pieces in a grouping. Books, or items used just to add height don't usually qualify as a piece unless its in the center of a room, like on my coffee table where you see it from all angles. Speaking of coffee table, my lovely husband and I made that about a year ago from half pallets and copper piping. No 6 days later, a few extra trips to the varied stores and a more than helpful family (who stayed out of this room most of the week), we have a fabulous new living room that is calming, inviting and serene to be in. 

I should have definitely known myself better though, because with changing the wall color, the whole house ended up being changed in one way or another! I can't seem to simply work on one room at a time! We got a new dining room table, which made me re-arrange the furniture there (still need to paint eventually), bought a new smaller desk with hutch to cut back on clutter in my craft room and allow more people to sit comfortably for my Stampin' Up! Monthly events, and even had to re-arrange the bedroom a bit and find a new nightstand (Tjmaxx) since I stole the bookshelf out of there. Needless to say, my family is happy with the way it turned out, but I think even more happy with a clean, uncluttered, put back together home!

Hope this post helps you in your own home one way or another! 

Thanks, Hanna

A life of contentment.

Over the past 6 months I have taken on the challenge of creating a better life for myself,  my family and others around us.  I have started a program,  Take Shape for Life which so far has allowed me to loose 77 pounds and gain my health back.  With this I have started a chain reaction,  and now my husband (45 lb lost), mom (42lb lost),  aunt (20lb lost)  and group of friends have all began the journey of enriching their health and lives. With this program I have become a coach,  allowing me to guide people to a better health whether on the plan or not.  It is so wonderful to have the ability to help people,  but also to have something to me passionate about.  Not only has it helped me find something new I love,  but it has casually helped me break my shell I was in,  fall back in love with my past hobbies (Stampin' Up!) and start to create a better life and fun times doing it all.  All of this has now brought on a great sense of contentment.  For the first time in a long time,  life seems to be rolling at a pace I can handle,  finances are manageable,  and my personal life with family and friends is fantastic! I LOVE my group of friends that I have newly been introduced into (well actually I was full on kidnapped in the middle of the night for, a memory I will Never forget!). Never before have I just jumped I to a friendship.  There had always been a time period where I waded the waters,  tried to find something to not make me get close,  but I have nothing to hold back.  I feel open,  loved,  respected and appreciated all at once. It's an amazing feeling. I am not sure what the future holds,  but I am working on making the parts I can control as amazing g as I possibly can,  so I always have something positive to cling too.  This summer has been amazing. One for the record books.  It feels amazing to finally be in a place of contentment, enjoying life as it is and greatly looking forward to the future as well!

The beauty of spontaneity...

So something I enjoy is change and spontaneity. One thing I love doing is taking a trip without much notice and that's exactly what I got to do yesterday!  A friend was heading to Portland to pick up her daughter and I just said I wished I could go!  She responded with the "why not,  we would love to have you!" so that's that...  I am on a trip home from Portland!  We had a great time!  Drove a while,  picked up Zanni and then stayed the night in a cute old school motel. Today we woke up,  got coffee and headed to the fabulous International Rose Garden! My fascination with photos and flowers is much stronger this summer than before so I was extatic to have hours to do just this even if I forgot my camera and just used my phone all day!  The smell,  casualness and adventure was marvelous!  I think life should be lived like that more often! We must be the ones to make our life the road map we want,  not wait for life to lead us. I am very happy with how the trip has turned out! I got to get to know new friends even more,  took a break from life and my wifely/motherly duties and just enjoyed myself! I can't wait to do something like this again very soon! 

A week full of contemplation, decisions and acceptance.

This week has been one of those weeks....

It started out overwhelmingly busy after a nice relaxing weekend and it seemed that the week just blew up. A few work cancelations last week meant more work this week, and a frazzled mentality trying to fit in work (3 jobs), personal time and enough time spend with my family and to relax. Then add in extra chores, busy evenings and a muscle spasm in my neck and I am fried already, and it's only Thursday! Oh, and do I mention not losing ANY weight last week.... Grr. Bounced up and down between 2 ounces of weight for a whole week. Not very motivating when I normally lose about 3.5 pounds a week! But I guess letting all this get to me is just a reminder of how many issues/concerns I still need to work on. 

But with having my neck spazz out, I was able to take yesterday and fully relax. Like sit on the couch, folding laundry, moving slowly all day relax and didn't feel guilty about it one bit. Having yesterday to regroup has made today even better. I see that the small details in life, which I thought I should focus more on in the past really don't hold that much weight.. Ha! Weight? I see now that it's the big picture, the final goal that is the most important. It is very important to enjoy the road, live it to its fullest, but if a snag happens in the routine, it has to be acknowledged and then let go. Does the fact that I can't get the extra load of laundry done today matter? No I'll do it another day. Does it matter if I need to take a day off work? Nope it doesn't... My services can be done a different day, or they can figure out alternate ways to clean their own homes! I am glad that my mentality on life is evolving. It is helping me to be a calmer person, enjoy life life it should be enjoyed, the big picture in a positive light and let's my family enjoy me also! I usually do get a bit frazzled and crazed if plans or my wants don't happen as I planned. It's been lovely.

Now I have also taken even more on my plate with being a Health Coach wi Take  Shape for Life. I am loving my abilities to help others change their lives so far, but a lot of time and mental awareness has been put forth. Adjusting my previous schedule to allow all of this has been difficult, but I know it will come more naturally with time... I just have to give it it's rightful time.

Having these hiccups this week shows me that while I am progressing mentally and physically to a healthier, better me, I still have a long way to go. I can not afford to get distracted. I have done well so far, but not well enough to start slacking off. I need to keep my eye on the prize (healthier/skinnier me, a better family relationship, and better finances which being a Coach is definitely teaching me to handle better), and put myself on auto-pilot so I can continue this journey and finish it to the end, and maintain this positive life choice I know my family and I need. 

So after a nice relaxing day yesterday and then beastie time today, I am happy to report my chores did eventually get done, my house is in order, card club went extremely well, and I am finally back on track with TSFL and have lost 2.2 pounds just since Monday! Yay for being on track, not freaking out anymore and being happy, content and less stressed overall. Now just to maintain this attitude and state of mind! 

Hopefully this weekend, while it will be busy, will help kick start my brain again into not settling for what I have done so far, and strive for more. Setting goals is good... I need to focus on what kind of goals I want and start chipping away at those goals. I have never been a goal setting person, so trying to figure out what I want out of life alone is difficult enough! I am perfectly happy where I am now, minus a few things that can easily be changed. So I need to put some thought into that... 

So onward, to lovely events with friends, family and celebrating Mothers Day! Enjoy everyone, and don't forget to enjoy the roads, but look up and see the beauty of the big picture mostly!

Hanna

Remembering to cherish the now is the easy way to happiness!

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." - Buddha

On my weight loss app, we have a daily message to help us stay inspired, and motivated and have power for ourselves. This one is today's. I think it speaks to a lot of the world right now. I know a few people who don't slow down enough to enjoy life, right now, in the moment they are in and see the beautiful things in everything! I have to admit also, I easily get distracted with the newest things, how to change what I have or not enjoy something because I am already looking at how it could be better...

So I am going to focus on the now... Really. Slow my brain and force myself to focus more on the now. Focus on things that are changing because of my plan to loose weight, focus on how my family is right now (which is pretty awesome!) and focus on the perfectness my life is right now!

Lots of things are changing about me right now especially! I am down 40 pounds (ok...39.8 pounds!) and still going strong! With that, obviously I am getting skinnier overall, but I am also noticing other differences. I no longer have hip and ankle pain, even though it was minor before, I wake up in the morning, not only sleeping on my stomach (because my body was too heavy for my own organs, and felt crushed any other way), but any way. I have way more energy on a whole, I am already in a size L/XL top and 14 bottoms (down from 2x and 22w!), I actually do have a chin, and jaw and collar bones! Incredible discoveries! Plus more, but you know I can't list em all! It really is hard to change and have it being in this direction! I feel bad for my husband a little, because I talk about it (how I change) ALL THE TIME! He tells me it's great, that if I wasn't excited he would really be worried! It's crazy exciting! I sure do wish I had the confidence and this plan earlier! I k ow. A still young and all, but still it has been painful to be big... I'm excited to never be that way again.

My family lately has been super awesome! I do feel a little weird being that I am not usually the one to change... I am not afraid to take charge of things and life in general, but I'm usually always the steady. Well to anymore! Now I am working on me, bettering me so my family can enjoy life together, healthier, happier and with more opportunities in life! My beautiful husband has job he LOVES, in a career he's always enjoyed, has hobbies that he loves to do with me and without me, and characteristics that I love in him evolving into an even better person! I love that man, and every piece of him, past, present and in the future! Now our daughter, man she is crazy adorable! Sure, she is a pain at times, but I love the special woman she is becoming. She has a great personality, full of humor, kindness, equality like no other 9 year old I know and the spunkiness of a clown! I love our little family of three and wouldn't change it for the world!

Ok enough mushy stuff! I have life to get too! Laters, baby!
H

Mexican Chicken Casserole...

From a past blog and post...

Here is the recipe for the dinner i made last night! It was super yummy and was put together very easily... you can then bake it in the over for a while or put it in the crock pot to warm through and melt the cheese. More details below. Enjoy!

1 Lb. Chicken breast, cubed small.
3 c. minute rice (cooked, can use regular if you have the time)
2 Tbsp olive oil
2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. pepper
1 Tbsp chili powder
1 tsp. cumin
1 tsp. coriander
1 tsp. paprika
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 can of corn, drained
1 can of diced tomatoes
1 small can of diced mild chilies
1 envelope of Hidden Valley Fiesta Ranch Dip (I find it at Safeway)
1 c. sour cream
2 c. shredded cheese

~extra sour cream, hot sauce and avocado for garnish and chips.

Cook rice according to package directions. No need to cool.

In a large skillet heat oil at medium-high heat. Add chicken, salt, pepper and next 4 ingredients. Cook fully, for 15-20 minutes stirring frequently. In a large mixing bowl add beans, corn, tomatoes and chilies Stir. Add ranch dip, sour cream and 1/2 c. shredded cheese. Add cooked chicken and rice. Stir thoroughly. Pour into a casserole dish or crock-pot Top with remaining cheese. Bake at 325* for 30-40 minutes or until bubbly or in crock-pot on high for 2 hours or low for 6-8.

Serve with extra garnish and chips.

Serves 8.

Hope you enjoy this recipe!!

Hanna

Fat Tuesdays Menu

From a past post and blog...

Well yesterday was Fat Tuesday, so we had a couple over to hang out and eat some good food! It was awesome. I have been trying to cut down on making expensive menus and having people over since food costs so much now days, but I figured, what the heck!

So last night we had beer braised pork tacos with all the fixins... lettuce, tomatoes, avocado, cheese and salsas and sour cream! Quite delish! Also made up some spicy rice and had a side of reried beans. I have to say tho, that pork was to die for!!

I took a 4.5 LB pork boneless roast and cut it into 2x2" pieces. In a large dutch oven (cast iron pot with lid) I browned up a large sweet onion in olive oil. Add salt right away, about 1 tsp to allow the onion to sweat. then i added the pork and continued cooking until it was all turning brown on the edges. I added then 8 cloves of garlic minced, 3Tbsp taco seasoning, 1 Tbsp chili powder, 1 tsp cumin, 1 tsp paprika, 1 Tbsp black pepper and 1 Tbsp more salt. Stir it all up and add half a bottle of dark beer. I use something nutty. Stir again and put lid on. place in 350* preheated oven for 45 minutes.

Just let it cook away. Don't take it out or open the oven.

Then take it out and add half a can of tomato paste. stir really well. Then place back in oven, covered for another 45 minuted to 1 hour.

Finally take out and add 1/2c chopped cilantro and 1 lime, juiced. Stir and let sit until ready to eat. The meat should be shredding on its own when you stir it.

Serve with add-ons mentioned above, some extra lime juice, cilantro and hot sauce over corn or flour tortillas.

You wont believe how easy the recipe is, but man is it good! Tonight I am making Huevos Squirrlios( my take on huevos rancheros) with the meat for dinner. That recipe may follow tomorrow!!

Enjoy!

This is the cast iron pot I have, and if you don't have one, GET IT!!!

I really love Pasta too much!

From a past post and blog...

So... my good friend comes over every Wednesday night to get all girly with me and watch totally dramatic shows! That is when I run into the dilemma... How do I make a big meal to feed everyone that isn't a wonderful steaming bowl of gooey pasta! Well last night it was just that... a great creamy tomato and pork alfredo.

Here is the recipe.

4 pork tenderloin chops
1 tsp EACH pepper, salt, oregano and lemon herb seasoning.
1/2 onion finely diced
2 cloves garlic - minced
1 can fire roasted diced tomatoes
1 cup water
3 Tbsp. veg oil
1 jar alfredo sauce
1 lb pasta... I use Rigatoni usually

Boil past a according to directions. Drain and set aside.

Meanwhile, in large skillet heat oil. Season pork with all seasonings. Brown in pan on medium high heat 3-4 minutes each side. Remove from pan to a late or pans lid. Add onion to skillet and saute 4-5 minutes. Add water and DE-glaze pan (stirring all the brown bits of the bottom). Add tomatoes and garlic. Simmer at medium heat for 8-10 minutes. Cube pork into small pieces and place back in sauce. Add alfredo sauce and simmer another 5 minutes. Stir into pasta and serve.

Pretty easy to make once you get it down. It really works well with chicken or steaks too... but pork is what we had on hand!

So there... my dilemma. How do I get by every Wednesday with out making a nice big pot of pasta since it is easy and quick and tastes SO GOOD!!!

Try out this recipe for yourself... see what you think and share some good maybe healthier dishes I could try next week?

Hanna

The warmth of a old classic...

From a past pst and blog...

Last night I decided to make a recipe that my mom gave me that she makes all the time. A classic hamburger and lentil soup. It was a chilly night, starting to get a cold, and it just seemed warm and comforting to make something from when I was little. So here I am going to share it with you. It is easy to turn vegetarian if you would like, but is simple and delicious and a great new food for toddlers! Sani was raised on this soup, and still loves it! Hope you enjoy it!

3 Tbsp. oil
1lb. ground meat like hamburger, turkey or deer
4-5 carrots, peeled and diced small.
1 onion, diced small
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 Tbsp salt
1 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. dried italian seasoning
2 cups lentil beans
1 Tbsp. worchestershire sauce
8 cups beef Stock

In heavy pot heat oil over medium high heat. Add meat and brown 4-5 minutes. Add carrot, onion and half of salt and pepper. Stir and saute for 6-7 minutes more. Add garlic and saute another minute, making sure to stir so the garlic does not burn. Add seasonings, including remaining salt and pepper. Also add Worcestershire sauce. Stir in liquids and bring to a boil. Add lentils and simmer on medium heat with lid on about 40-45 minutes. Depending on lentils some may be getting soft, if not continue simmering another 15-20 minutes. Remove lid and simmer another 10 minutes to allow liquids to start to evaporate and let soup thicken. Add more salt and pepper if needed. Serve with crusty bread.

Makes 8 servings.

Hope this recipe can add something simple but delicious to your menu sometime soon! Enjoy!

Making life simpler, but in the best ways possible!

6 month... In 6 months a lot can happen... A lot of good!

Finances are better, family is great, times are flying by and stress levels are much lower. All things my family and I have been striving for! S hooray me, and yippee for us!

So what's changed? I RELAXED! That's what! Plus a few other things.. You know a husband who found an awesome new job, a daughter who is loving the people we, her parents are and embracing her own characteristics, a job that is 100% flexible and friends who care all make for a better life. Drama is at a minimum, people who cause drama we have stayed at a distance. Just over all, better!

Hmmm... What else? Oh yah, I started a new weight loss/lifestyle change program in February. It's called Take Shape for Life. I joined because I saw how much it helped a friend of mine. It's a relatively easy program as far as diets go. Your not counting calories, spending a ton of time measuring and tracking. You just buy the food, eat it 5 times and enjoy one homemade meal a day also. That's it. No killing yourself at the gym, no killing yourself. Sure there are things I don't like about it, but really at 33 pounds down, can I really say its not working?! NOPE!

So far this plan has helped me not on.y shed weight but also helped me in other ways. I smile bigger, and way more often, I find my old "silly" person creeping back in. I can exercise and keep up easier, I have less headaches and really no body aches at all anymore! It's great! I can't wait to see what the next 33 (really 47 to goal of 160) does for me! I can officially not shop in only the plus size stores, I fit into large, xl and a few 1x things rather than pushing 2x an 22's! It's amazing! I'm ready to let go of all this baggage I didn't realize I had!

So here starts the real life adventures! I am combining both my blogs, turning this blog into my everyday, track everything I'm doing, loving, needing and dreaming of. No more separating it... It's all me, so it will be all together. From there, well the sky is limitless I guess! I
I'm not sure what will be next, cause I'm sure enjoying the ow a whole lot more than I used too!

Until next time... Which WILL NOT be 6 months away! H