Getting back to what matters...

Life is hard, love is the best and adventures are always welcome. But how do we plan on having adventures though when life gets in the way? I am having a hard time finding ways to have adventures when life gets in the way. 

Oh well, anyways...

Life this summer has been great, went by too fast but great. We spent a lot of time together as a family, my husband, daughter and myself. We went camping, had many days at the parks/beaches and enjoyed a lot of time with friends. I enjoy these times. 

Days like today make me realize though that the adventures I think are adventures are grand gestures and unrealistic events... not the kind of adventures I should be seeking. I want to be seeking adventures like cuddling with my family under a blankie while watching tv or laughing at weird quirks. I want to enjoy feeding and housing our family, and seeing the love that flows into everything we do. 

I want to make memories that are attainable to hold on to, make experience that don't seem like a dream and make a happy life through all the struggles of the day.

It is hard though... sometimes it feels impossible. But i know with the love of my family anything is possible.

I love you family... H

Life is crazy!

Life in the past couple weeks has really picked up! Our social life is always knocking on the door, Tony has joined a band, My job is actually paying off... literally and I finally feel like we are on a path that may actually work out! We are well known as the family who can't sit still. We aren't the black sheep so to speak but we get antsy quick!

We regularly move from house to house, I regularly change jobs or just don't have one at all, and we all seem to thrive in this mad craziness.

But in the last few months, we seem to be settling down in our ways, but yet getting busier also! I think it is fitting us well, but i am still longing for the longer days and better weather in order to really make life the best it can be!

Soon enough we will be out of the whole we have been in for the last 4 years and moving up and out! I am trying to wait and be patient for our life to finally be right!! Is this what it should be like? Crazy busy and full life's of happiness and inspiration!!!

Is it falling off the wagon or is finding the grey area??

I didn't start off the new year thinking I was in absolute control, having no excuses, or thinking I wouldn't make a mistake. But instead I knew that I needed to get my life in order, and in turn that would help get my families life in order.

I need to work on making my time on earth a priority, not just my time i make alone during the day, but every minute. I need to work on making myself healthier, and keeping me that way. I need to work on setting better priorities. Not just "oh i can push this back so I can have that, or i can not work on this so then i can do that instead", but actually make goals and stick to them and be proud of the little tiny baby steps that I will hit along they way. I am the only one responsible and the only one who will benefit from it, in turn allowing my family to reap the benefits!

So that said, I am wondering... When we fall off the path is it always falling off the wagon? I prefer to see it as a way of noticing what is working and what isn't . kind of a trial and error kind of mentality to see what I can really stick too, or the grey area. What I have realized so far...

1. I stick my head in the sand way too often.
2. I try to please people way more than I should... I really need to stop.
3. I know how to get what I want when it comes to something I don't need or normally can't get on my own.
4. I am the best at avoiding reality.
5. I really need to pay some things off, cause it's only hurting my family.
6. I hate being alone, but usually don't like people all that much...
7. I don't give myself enough credit for all the things I do well.
8. I am always finding a way to get in my own way...

So those are my goals... I am focusing on the grey area, allowing myself to not focus on a stumble as a fail. I usually always see it in black and white, I think, well i can't afford that bill, so I'm not gonna pay it at all... rather than just a little... I am not gonna do that. I am better than that. I succeed in so many things, and thiese tasks can only be another way to showcase that.

Here's to trying not to be a perfectionist about my life!
Wish me luck!

There really is a lot to love...

It started snowing here in Washington yesterday... we usually don't really see snow, but if we do it isn't until maybe March or April even sometimes. So of coarse no one was prepped for it. We don't have a back up plan, a cupboard full of food or even lots of firewood saved up in case of an emergency...

But my house hold seemed to be just fine with out all that. We threw together a big pot of chicken and veggie soup, had lots of coffee and cocoa and spent way more time than usual in front of the tv watching movies, tv shows off the dvr and just over all being lazy.

It has been beautifully relaxing. To put life on hold, with out the worries of all of our lives falling to their doom! Usually that is not the case. For me, I usually freak out about any tiny little hiccup in our plans. Anybody running late makes me grumpy. Plans changing last minute makes me unhappy. But this weekend, I see that life can go one great, even better than great just by staying home, making some yummy treats, cuddling on the couch and enjoying my family and time here, anywhere.

I hope to have more times like this in the future, the near future. And I surely hope that I don't wait around for it to snow again.. I hope I can remember that our life is worth living, every moment of it and I am the one who can make that happen!

My motivation and inspiration.

Today I was driving to work, crossing over the trussle and as soon as i dropped down off the freeway I was blinded by sunlight! Everything was bright and beautiful. I looked up to the sky to cherish this wonderful winter morning and I saw mountains. Not just a mountain here or there, but mountains from my left to my right. 180* of mountains! It was amazing!

It made me think that this place, this little piece of earth is my internal motivation. Every time I come down the river road from Everett and see the beautiful Snohomish river, I smile and love everything I may be doing at that moment just because my view is outstanding. I felt the same today, my view of the mountains was astounding...

Then a few moments later I had forgotten all about the view I was seeing, all about the way it made me feel and I felt a little saddened. How can we loose our motivation? Our drive? That thing that makes us smile all the time, no matter what time we see it, no matter how often we see it and no matter what condition it is in. This morning was beautiful, but I love the view of the river the most when its grey out and a little foggy.

That made me realize, why don't i have that feeling inside me already? Why don't I love and cherish myself and my situation and everything I have from the inside everyday and count my blessings and have internal motivation at all times? Why do I only allow myself to feel that way only when I see something pretty, rather than just feel that pretty all the time on the inside? I think if I focused on that this year, focusing on how my little everyday things I do, see or have make me feel eternally motivated and inspired I may be traveling the right path. So that is exactly what I will be doing. Focusing on the good and bad, but seeing how it can drive me to be motivate, driven and inspired.

I shall not focus on the past, the friendships lost, the opportunities I may have missed or the things I should change. Instead I shall focus on how to accept everything i have and make it internally awesome!

Differences.

Isn't it funny how we meet so many people in our life with so many differences? I find it very mind boggling to know someone who seems so nice and awesome and you become great friends with and can work so well with, but on absolutely every topic or thought about life, love, friends or opinions we are completely different? 


I have a friend, kind of more of an acquaintance I guess, who I thought we were on the same wavelength, but come to figure out that we are polar opposites. How does that happen? Are we really not that compatible? Not really able to be friends? After all isn't it usually the things you do alike that make a friendship strong?


I am not saying that this person is rude, or mean or arrogant, I am just interested in trying to figure out how someone can hate everything you have to say or believe, but yet be nice and be a friend?


Have we become so used to this as humans that we just pretend to like each other? Do we just try to be different for the sake of standing out in a crowd? What is it that really drives us to disagree so much with another person? Is this really a side of hate, jealousy or anger or is it solely just a difference of opinion? 


I really don't get it. Do we really not agree all the time or is it just that right now they choose to vocalize it more than before? Should I really be hurt or should I let bygones be bygones and not really care? Areyou just not a friend? 


I think a friend should have the right to disagree about what ever they like but why do they think it is ok to tell you your opinion is wrong, or awe full or just downright laugh at what you say or do? 


I think right now, I am going to choose to let them have their differences and let them roll off my shoulders. I don't think I shall really care at all that they think the things I like are "cheep" or "young" or "different". Right now I will see the fact that we disagree and have differences and if you choose to push them in the middle of a could be relationship, that is your loss. I will be here, waiting and hoping you see what it is you do, and wait to see if we really are friends or not? 


Hanna

The beginning again...

That sounds daunting doesn't it... like the whole world has crumbled... all though there are people who did think that was gonna happen, that's not exactly what I meant!

I meant it is a new year, a new beginning to be able to enjoy all the small and big things that can come and go through out this new and hopefully FABULOUS year!I meant that it is going to be awesome to start this year off in the right frame of mind. Not frazzled, overwhelmed and making large promises to the world, universe or even myself when I now see that maybe I am finally realizing that I am getting older, and with that I am realizing that the way I am now, who I am now maybe is just perfect enough.

Sure I could/should loose weight, sure I need to be more financially free from my lovely Family that has helped my husband and I so much. But is that really all there is? Is it really necessary to put all our small issues, problems and things we should maybe think about in the forefront... Why don't we focus on how wonderful our lives are, how great and blessed we may have it and enjoy all the minutes, hours and days that make this year a year full of wonderful memories and experiences.

So, that is exactly what this year shall be about. I shall hold myself accountable, post to this blog daily and share with you, any of you my thoughts, experiences, happiness's and maybe sometimes frustrations in order to have myself be open to every awesome possibility out there in the world!

So please, follow me through a year (maybe more) of my life as I work on the basics again. Finding everything awesome, exciting, fun and enjoyable again! What else is there but a life worth living!