Is it falling off the wagon or is finding the grey area??

I didn't start off the new year thinking I was in absolute control, having no excuses, or thinking I wouldn't make a mistake. But instead I knew that I needed to get my life in order, and in turn that would help get my families life in order.

I need to work on making my time on earth a priority, not just my time i make alone during the day, but every minute. I need to work on making myself healthier, and keeping me that way. I need to work on setting better priorities. Not just "oh i can push this back so I can have that, or i can not work on this so then i can do that instead", but actually make goals and stick to them and be proud of the little tiny baby steps that I will hit along they way. I am the only one responsible and the only one who will benefit from it, in turn allowing my family to reap the benefits!

So that said, I am wondering... When we fall off the path is it always falling off the wagon? I prefer to see it as a way of noticing what is working and what isn't . kind of a trial and error kind of mentality to see what I can really stick too, or the grey area. What I have realized so far...

1. I stick my head in the sand way too often.
2. I try to please people way more than I should... I really need to stop.
3. I know how to get what I want when it comes to something I don't need or normally can't get on my own.
4. I am the best at avoiding reality.
5. I really need to pay some things off, cause it's only hurting my family.
6. I hate being alone, but usually don't like people all that much...
7. I don't give myself enough credit for all the things I do well.
8. I am always finding a way to get in my own way...

So those are my goals... I am focusing on the grey area, allowing myself to not focus on a stumble as a fail. I usually always see it in black and white, I think, well i can't afford that bill, so I'm not gonna pay it at all... rather than just a little... I am not gonna do that. I am better than that. I succeed in so many things, and thiese tasks can only be another way to showcase that.

Here's to trying not to be a perfectionist about my life!
Wish me luck!